Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
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we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
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I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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