____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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