So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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