I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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