Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
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Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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