well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize