I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize