she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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