Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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