My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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