My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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