We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize