I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize