I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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