Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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