Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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