Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize