oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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