I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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