Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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