Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I need moral support for this bender
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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