well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize