They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
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When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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