Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
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I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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