using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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