Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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