just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize