Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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