yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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