My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's blow job season.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize