And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
try to milk me bitch
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