wanna go halves on a baby?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize