he was CRYING into my vagina
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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