So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize