if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
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