i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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