A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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