i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
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She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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