i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
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There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
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I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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