names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize