based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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