my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize