You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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