Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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