3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it was like eating out sand paper
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize