Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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