So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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