It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize