foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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