no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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